Friends: Are they worth the trouble?

The last few days, how ever important they were seemed to move slowly and lousily and I was in bed 
doing nothing worth mentioning. All I could be bothered doing was create a blog, update my facebook page, answer silly questions on them, befriend people, constantly check for new emails.. I was not even in a mood to chat with people online or on the phone. One of the noteworthy tasks I did in the last few days was reflect back on my past, think about the mistakes I made, betrayal, deceit, hatred, gossip, jealousy, boyfriends and all the drama. Some of it could be laughed off as funny and some not as they really made a huge impact on who I am now. In a way they really played a role in the moulding of me and I don't regret it.


I could have done something more useful like reading up on course material, researching on my final year project, applying for internships, talking to the professors or at least gone out with a couple of friends and had some fun. I chose not to.


Its frustrating when you get back home from a tiring day only to face a table, bed and chair and the only form of communication you have is online since you can do this while completing your assignments. It's not fun.


In thinking back I had to ask myself, what friends are for? To have fun while you are around and forget you completely when you are not? To trust you when they have no one to confide to and leave you stranded when you need them? To talk to you and enjoy your jokes and laugh at you when you walk away? Judge you on the rest of the people you hang around with and forget that the person within may be completely different? Get jealous of all your accomplishments and in the process refrain from lending a helping hand? Base your decision about your friend on what your boy friend thinks she might be or on rumours that another might say? And the list goes on and it came to a point where I had to think if friends where worth having with all these problems.


To understand a person completely is utterly impossible. No one is perfect and that includes me as well. I can fit in a number of friends into every category of these questions and I can see where I fit in as well. Isn't forgiveness something we learnt when we were little? So no worries my friends I've forgotten and forgiven. To the last and first question my answer is yes, because I think the most beautiful parts of my life which I would cherish forever were not when I was on stage receiving an award (indeed that was memorable) but the times that I had with my friends. Because the mistakes made seem so much smaller when compared to the times we had. And i must say I've got a great bunch of friends. I love you all..

Needs Motivation

This is one of those times when you have all the things in the world to do but cant get yourself to do anything. Hence I created a blog for the nth time. I hope this lasts longer than the previous ones I've created since the past two years and I seriously hope I don't forget the url. I have had an overdose of Sheldon Cooper and Dan Brown, hence it is perfectly understandable as to why I feel utterly lost in a world of science and a world of religion. Maybe at this point I'm regretting my decision trying to do an undergraduate degree in computer science, firstly because being one of the two females in a batch of 80 geeks is in itself quite frustrating, secondly I have no idea what I should do as a Final Year Project. I requested for some ideas on an on-line chess playing site namely, Red Hot Pawn and the response I got was quite pathetic. Although the site claims to have people who are hardcore computer scientists, the best suggestion I got was to write an algorithm to identify stupid/idiotic remarks and screen them so that you don't have to employ a moderator to do so or in most cases No moderator does this hence is published with no screening. Although the idea would sound rather stupid to the common mob, I believe its quite an interesting area to look into with all the breakthroughs in creating machines/systems that mimics human. How ever experts believe this wont be in the near future and to write an algorithm for detecting stupidity is certainly not possible for a penultimate year undergrad student who lacks a lot in motivation and has to overcome the imposter syndrome. That's probably my Current State of mind in a nutshell. Back to Big Bang Theory.